I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
