This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize
