dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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