did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
