Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize