Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us�
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
