He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
