i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
