paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
