North Korea, Best Korea!
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
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