he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
