Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
