all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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