i was rollin on her like bob the builder
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Randomize
