i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
how does that bad decision feel?
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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