Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Randomize
