Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
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