girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
