How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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