One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
