Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
