I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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