Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
