Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
