Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy�
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
