Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
