I hate all girls vehemently.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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