She's JV to your varsity
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
