is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
ugly people sure do ruin things
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
