Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.�
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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