Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Randomize
