I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Randomize
