if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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