yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
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