didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
He keeps bees of course he's weird
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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