by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Randomize
