the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
love makes seman taste better
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Randomize
