Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Randomize
