morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Randomize
