i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
