Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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