How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
