Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
