Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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