There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
