i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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