Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize
