My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
