are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize