so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
