Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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