When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
